Fat Albert's Breakfast Cafe

Like a Seinfeld Episode! I was born. Like a Seinfeld Episode! I was born and raised in SE Portland, right there in the Westmoreland neighborhood. I drive through these days maybe once a month and I've long wanted to have breakfast at this place. My girlfriend and I went recently.

She drove and was parking the car. I went in and was greeted at the door by a youngish woman who asked How many? I said two as I looked behind her at a small open table. She asked where my second was and I let her know she was parking the car. She said I would have to wait then and put me down on the list. I saw I was the only one on it. I was pretty surprised.

Less than 2 minutes later, an older woman who worked there tried to seat me, but the younger woman said No, the rest of his party is not here yet.

Moments later a middle-aged woman came in. The younger woman asked her How many and she said I don't know yet. She got on her phone to try to contact someone, and stepped out. She came back in right away and said she didn't know. But the younger woman working there started seating her anyway. At this pointy I was pretty puzzled so I said I was waiting for that table and was here first. She told me that my party wasn't here yet. I exclaimed that neither was this person's! She seated her anyway. It was surreal. I voiced my objection again and left.

I have No idea why I was required to have my partner with me but the next customer was not. It was like that restaraunt episode in Seinfeld, the one where they never get a table.

This place gave the Worst Service I've Experienced in Years. Incredibly rude and spiteful and weird behavior. I'll never return.…

Rude staff and Child Labor; NEVER eating here again!. My husband and I always thought this place would be worth checking out, boy were we wrong! We were surprised to see 2 little girls (who looked no older than maybe 10) busing tables and taking orders! I must say I was turned off almost immediately when I saw children working in a diner, I doubt they're getting paid by the hour, but nevertheless it find it irresponsible on behalf of their parents.

The mediocre coffee was severely overpriced, at 2.50 for an 8 oz mug, and the potatoes were undercooked, not to mention missing any form of crispy outside that you usually get from roasted/pan-fried potatoes. My husband ordered biscuits and gravy, which was more like 2 soft, uncooked buns and meatless white gravy with sausage links on the side. I watched him eat it and it honestly looked like mush.

The eggs were okay (not that hard to screw up eggs, thankfully), the toast had hardly any butter on it, and I was cautious with the cream since I wasn't sure how long it had been sitting at our table before we got to it (the container was room temp).

When we paid, we found out they were cash or check only (our mistake for not checking) so my husband went to the atm to get some cash and I stayed behind (you know, like any business owner would want you to do so they know you're not planning a dine-n-dash).

"So, what, he leaves YOU as collateral?" she asks me in a condescending tone. I honestly thought we were being pretty honest by having one of us stay behind since we were already disappointed with our meal. I didn't know why it was any of her business or why she felt she could speak to me that way. Would she have preferred we both leave? Cause we would've just gone home without paying if both of us left.

He comes and pays and she is very cold to us. She counts back our change by dropping it on the table piece by piece and leaves it there for us to pick up. I've been a waitress and cashier for years, and even if the customer drops the change on your table (which we did not since we both work in the service industry and like to treat our fellow servers and cashiers with respect) you ALWAYS hand it back to the person in their hand. It's just good customer service.

Perhaps we rubbed her the wrong way with not being prepared with cash, but we did not complain about the terrible food, we didn't raise concern over children working the tables, and we didn't make a scene when we learned we'd have to grab cash at the ATM.

We were treated like TRASH by this woman and we did absolutely nothing to deserve it. We left without tipping and will never eat there again. I will never recommend this place to anyone of my friends, to do so would probably be an insult to my friends.…

We expect OUR people to be POLITE in this part of the world!. To the WiseGuy from 'Joisey'... Years ago I worked in the restaurant biz, and I know what it's like to work in a tiny place that's always jumping. Regardless of how busy a restaurant may be, there is NO EXCUSE for rude behavior and bad service. PERIOD. Those of us who are Native Portlanders have little tolerance for such behavior--and I say, sir, that it is to our credit.

Since you're from the NYC/Jersey area, no doubt you are accustomed to such behavior and even regard it as 'normal'. Too bad, I say, that the cultural necessity of civility is lost on you. Do us all a favor and keep your 'Joisey' manners and philosophy to yourself...we're not buying it here.…