Park Kitchen

Will not be returning to PK. Wow. We strayed from our usual collection of awesome PDX restaurants for a birthday dinner at PK with our group of five. Bad idea. We waited about ten minutes for the server to say hello, so we ordered two glasses of wine and an assortment of "small" plates in one fell swoop. I'll say this right off the bat: the author of the menu got the section titles right, although "nano", or "micro" would have also worked.

Our plan was to try an assortment of dishes and then order second and third servings of the ones we liked best.

In hindsight, it was a sign: before me sat the only white plate on the table - the others were brown - and right there in the center was a food smear best described as a gray, one-inch version of Haley's Comet. I tested it with my fingernail as little dried bits flaked off, so I pushed it aside and wondered which menu items would leave a mark like that? And who had set that table without noticing the streaky thing? In any event, I had mixed feelings as our server replaced the plate with a new one, which was now brown. Dark brown. It did make me wonder.

As the two bread plates (priced at $4.50 each) arrived, I tried to think back to the last time I had paid $9.00 for bread and olive oil. Oh, and little crackers. I thought we had erred by ordering two servings of bread, but au contraire. It was actually pretty good, and we would soon to learn, in fact, that it was to be the highlight of the evening.

Then arrived two nano-cones of fried green beans and bacon-things priced at $11.00 per serving. Not terrible, but also a long way from magical. For an extra $0.50, a diner can enjoy a savory, grass-fed burger from Toast. Add a buck and score a killer pizza from Nostrana's amazing oven. Or go to Higgins' bar and order almost anything.

Next up, three brown balls of scalding fish paste served fresh from the fryer ($9.00) and known to the staff as Salt Cod Fritters. With careful dexterity we cut each one of the little spheres into quarters, but this proved unnecessary as final morsels went unclaimed. No calls for seconds on the fish balls.

After that, the "Flank steak with blue cheese, parsley and sherried onions" arrived, which should actually be renamed, "Wet steak salad tartare". This would have been a good time for a fondue pot. Sadly, the little plate kept circling our table, again and again, willing someone to finish it. Again, no seconds required.

Our final nano-treat would be octopus something-or-other, a delicacy we would later call "Octo wafers" during our hysterical drive home. Strike-three.

To wrap things up, we canceled an overdue glass of wine for the birthday girl, and we decided to cut our losses. We would eat dessert elsewhere.

And then the darndest thing happened. The check arrived sporting an "automatic", pre-calculated 20% gratuity. I'm not making this up. It occurred, presumably, because we were a group of five, but we didn't take the time to ask. We just wanted to leave.

So, we paid the bill without complaint, but it was an appropriate conclusion to a (hopefully) forgettable meal, and we will never get back the 90 minutes of our lives we wasted at PK.

Do yourself a favor: do not eat here unless you're really craving a good plate of bread. Oh, wait, that's what Grand Central serves. And Great Harvest too.…

Overrated way overpriced. Have to say I have not had such a bad dinning experience in a long time. Slightly creative takes on NW style of food. Small portions, very overpriced. My dad is a vegetarian but they had no veggie options on the menu. The recommended chickpea fritters with an egg on top and a side salad. Thats what he got. $31 for the both.

Funny thing was it was the best tasting thing we ordered.

Please spend your money elsewhere.…

Worst PDX Food Experience. This is my first review, and I feel compelled to let people know about my experience at Park Kitchen. I specifically made this reservation to take my mother who was in town for the weekend. I am a complete foodie, and have been to the best of the best in Portland (Beast, Bluehour, Paley’s, etc.). Park Kitchen, regardless of everything I heard about the menu being wonderful and focused on local ingredients, was unfortunately a huge disappointment. We ordered a bottle of wine to start, and then ordered the $50 small/large plate sampler, thinking we would get to try a wider variety of rather than ordering individual entrees. The menu was chosen by the chef, which is a fun idea, I give them that. The portions, however, were ridiculously small (two cold salads were eaten in five bites, the cracker dish had three crackers), and every single one of the dishes delivered had the same rhubarb sauce, making every dish taste similar (I was completely surprised that the chef chose to do this). Ugh. Despite all of this, the worst part of the while night was that each extremely small course still took 15-20 minutes to get (on a slow Thursday night). On top of that, no bread/crackers or anything is served complimentary. That is a huge mistake with the miniscule portions and hefty prices. In the end, I left Park Kitchen still hungry, with a pounding headache from drinking 2 glasses of wine before they even served the first course.

With all of the outstanding restaurants in Portland, I will not be visiting Park Kitchen again. They just are not trying hard enough, and will never be able to keep up with the competition in this wonderful "foodie" city of ours.…

Great Location, Great People, Great Food.... We had a phenomenal 10 person dinner and it was unbelievably fun with great food and, as always, great people at Park Kitchen. The pork: unreal. The lamb chops: great. The flank steak salad: as typical, on point. The bld orange salad: crisp, clean and refreshing. Oh, and how was the Sticky Date Pudding? Ridiculously good, maybe the best dessert I've had.

I never post on sites like this, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due.

Park Kitchen is a first class place with an easy-going atmosphere. With the great people and the seasonal menu changes, we always keep it on the top of our list.…