Portland >Helser's On Alberta Inc
There is this cook there who has open sores and needle tracks on his arms and sometimes he comes out the side door to shoot up, possibly heroine? It's hard to tell. Then he throws the syringe in the gutter next to the outside seating area. I seriously hope that he isn't HIV positive, but if he is I would be very concerned about some of his blood getting in your breakfast. If for some strange reason you still choose to go anywhere near that place, please be careful that you don't contract any STD's from that place. The food is poor quality and not worth it as it is.
Here is my tip to anyone thinking of trying to get a good meal here, STAY AWAY! There is a mentally disabled homeless man who frequents the area and he will, I kid you not, come up behind you while you're dinning, whip out his wang, and place it next to your ear, so that when you turn around you get unwashed homeless scrotum in on your face. I've seen this multiple times and it happens especially if you're eating outside, because the staff usually catches him when he comes inside, but not always. The restaurant tries to keep quite about this, but its something that must be shared. STRONG NOT RECOMMEND. Besides that the food is way overrated and the staff are unfriendly and mean.
Take one look at the behind the scenes staff and you will see things that will make you terrified to eat at this unsanitary filth hole. I hope you like man pubes on your omelet...
Sunday brunch filling and great value. Everything tasted just fine, and service was standard. We sat at the bar, which had a/c blasting on a chilly day-I had to wear my coat for the duration. But, all in all was a good experience. Hollandaise sauce perfect.
Just Be Nice to People....
Last weekend my girlfriend suggested that we walk down and meet some friends of our at Helser's On Alberta. It had been about 10 months ago we had gone for the first time. I remembered the food being good, however i didn't really have a desire to go back there for some reason?...
Well this weekend it was made very clear why I had no desire to go back... The Service is Lame. I'm not talking about the Service of the whole establishment... I'm talking about 1 particular waitress that I had the misfortune of getting the last time I was there.
She would not give the time of day to anyone at the table except my girlfriend and her sister... it was to the point of being ridiculous. She only made eye-contact only with my girlfriend... and only asked her questions like if she wanted more coffee (I sat there with an empty coffee the whole time). It was almost like my girlfriend was a language interpreter... except there was seemly purposeful disregard for the guys at the table... it was So blatant.
My food was outstanding... however, I personally would never treat anyone with such disdain regardless of their: race, sex, orientation... or whatever. So i will certainly Not support an establishment (even if it has great food) that employs a person that has that little regard for some of it's customers.
In short my experience was: once again the really poor attitude of our server eclipsed the fine food that Helser's serves.
yum in my mouth.
One of the better breakfast places in Portland.
Generous with the right ingredients.
I recommend the mushroom hash (especially for garlic lovers) and the veggie benedict,
Woah..Darn near crapped my pants.
Second time there..and the last.
Having read some of the reviews, and seeing the place on tv I decide to give it a try. My first time there was on a Sunday morning about 8:30-9:00. There was no waiting and when I got in I saw there was 1 or 2 tables avail in an otherwise crowded room. What I mean by crowded is the chairs and tables are really crowded together. You have to really "navigate" your way through the maze just to get to the restroom. I opted for the seat at the counter. (There is a good view of what the cooks are doing with your food from there).
I was especially anxious to try the "Scotch Egg" I'd seen on tv and the online menu. It is a curious thing made up of a hard boiled egg, wrapped in bratwurst, breaded, then deep fried. What makes it curious is that when I eat eggs and sausage I want them to taste like eggs and sausage. If I want them to taste like chicken then I wait a little longer....till they hatch into chicken. This thing tastes exactly like deep fried chicken with the texture of cold greasy sausage,and an even colder hardboiled egg. Damn thing coats the inside of your mouth like a greasy kitchen sink drain
Next was the "Bacon and Tillamook scramble. The first time it was good. Lots of fresh cooked bacon, eggs, potatoes, all scrambled together with a ton of chedder cheese melted all over the top. Yeah that was good.
HOWEVER...the second time around was WAY different.
I skipped the Scotch egg for obvious reasons but wish I'd skipped the whole darn trip. I had the scramble again and couldn't believe it was supposed to be the same thing. Barely 1 egg, 1/2 a bottle of bacon bits, way to many potatoes, and lots cheese, all piled up and stacked into an over crowded toaster oven on top of other dishes being cooked. Somewhere under all the dirty plate bottoms was my toast.
The actual service was good and the coffee cup was never empty, the waitress was friendly and talkative, so I thought maybe just a bad day for the cook, maybe I'll try again some time. Well about 20-30 minutes after I left it hit me....bad. ! ! I cramped up while driving home and almost crapped my pants. Thank God Burger King has a bathroom. Next time I'll just try B.K.'s breakfast burrito.
I wish Helser's would serve the Dutch Baby pancake with Lemon chantilly at least once a month!!! It's fantastic and our favorite. Just can get it enough.
The veggie bennie is also really delic!
Worth the wait. There are A LOT of great breakfast places in Portland, but this is one of my favorites. For the same priced menu as all of the other places, you get good food, proportions with a slightly upscale atmosphere. The staff is very friendly and attentive. You will most likely have to wait in line during weekends, but you won't be disappointed.
its worth the wait on the weekend when you are hung over.
but the food isn't just a hangover cure. its always good. so many awesome egg dishes. drinks are awesome.
every time i've been there, the staff was really friendly and accommodating regardless of how insanely busy it was.
Sign in with Facebook Sign in with Facebook to see what your friends are up to!