08/08/07

Better just go to a county fair, any county fair for more fun and selection.

by davidbrody

I have been to a few amusement parks, not just the top brand names but the small little ones scattered all over the country.

I spent a day at the park for a group event with the company I work for and it was a sad dissapointment. Three rides, all 3 of them which are suppose to be somewhat thrilly, were a let down and painfull. The last year or so, a lot of my friends called the roller coaster the neck and back pain coaster and I didn't believe them. Having done it now I can say, it is true and everybody at the event with me talked about how the coaster just hurt and not about it being fun. I don't recall anybody doing it twice. I woke up the next day sore. Sure the screaming eagle was fun and didn't hurt but one ride doesn't make a park.

The only saving grace is the Lewis and Clark Great Adventure. It makes no sense at all, just a scary ride redone to be historical. But it is so awesome because it is so bad. Creepy in a David Lynch way and probably should be featured in some independent college films. Random, nonsensical, half broken, craziness which can't be expressed in words. After the ride you and your friends can spend 20 minutes asking why about everything in the ride, "Why the stobe light eagle?" Why the sexual bumping bear with crazy eyes? Why the indian lady with her back turned doing nothing and looking like a skeleton? Why the exit to the future with day glow drawings?

It would have been good if they just said on a sign, "Oaks Park, just a little better than the traveling carnival which shows up over night at a parking lot at K-Mart with no warning. We don't have Carnies, we have some college and high school kids working here who are clean." And that was the nicest thing about the place, no 40 year old, drugged out, tattooed, scary, running the rides.

• Pros: Nice outdoor setting, wooded and by a rive with the city in the background.
• Cons: Bathrooms, food, rides, young adult fun.

06/11/07

Another Example Of "Progress" Laying Waste.

by toddvania2

Ah, what can I say that's positive? Not much. This park used to be a wonderful place to go when I was younger, when they had decent rides like the Zipper, Roll-O-Plane, Haunted Castle, etc. The only 'thrill' rides of any substance they have there now are the Screamin' Eagle, Spider, and Rock-O-Plane. Everything else is basically for young children, and the whole place is designed for them, it seems. The once-spooky Haunted Castle (turned into the 'Haunted Mine' in 1981), has been transformend into some sort of Lewis & Clark adventure, if I remember right. Wow. Thirillsville. Urgent sarcasm at work there.

Food? Very, very much overpriced. Of course it is...they're betting that you're not going to take time out of your ride bracelet (a concept that has taken over from buying tickets/ride tokens), that's good for 3 or 4 hours to leave and go to a restaurant or store and come back, right? For $5 or so, I got a cheeseburger that a gas station could have made better.

The park itself is beautiful, and a brochure that boasts the park is located on 'the dramatic Wilamette River' isn't a faux pas. The views of the river are spectacular, the train ride really gets you this view. Although why they haven't rebuilt the charming tunnel the train used to go through is a mystery to me.

The picnic grounds are fantastic, but don't try for them on weekends. The park likes to cater to company picnics those days, and getting a spot is next to impossible. Bring your own food, as stated above. The food in their snack bars is awful.

The roller rink is one area that the current management has wisely decided to leave alone, it has managed to keep its nostalgia through several floods! The Wurlitzer organ is impressive to look at and hear, and there's a unique 'Wave' style floor at the back of the main floor, which is unequaled in look and feel in any other rink in the country.

To sum it up, better rides & food needed. I can't believe this place doesn't have a Zipper.

• Pros: Nice river views, picnic spots, roller rink, free admission (on regular business days).
• Cons: Few stand-out rides, bad, expensive food, too crowded on weekends, bad parking arrangements.

05/27/07

perfectly charming, low stress.

by evexo

Looking over historical ads for the park, I see it was once billed as "The Coney Island of the West". Well, I grew up in NYC, and spent tons of time in Coney Island, and, while that great park has suffered the ravages of time and the tawdry, even sleazy developments that came with it, Oaks Park strikes me as a trip in a time machine back to a much smaller version of Coney Island circa 1910. The flowers, the gazebos, the picknickers, the river right there (ok, so it's not the Atlantic ocean, but still, it's sand). Charming and relaxing. It is, first and foremost, a park for children... There are only one or two big thrill rides. Rowdy twentysomethings looking for opportunities to drink too much beer, whoop it up on "x-treme" rides and scare their dates will find little satisfaction here(at least during the day). Those people will have to wait for the temporary and widly overpriced parks that set up on the West side for cinco de mayo and rose festival. The antique carousel is beautiful, (be sure to look for the pair of owls that live up in the roof), and the blend of kiddie rides provides a nice variety of daring for kids of varying "ride tolerance". Adults should be careful with the smaller roller coaster in the kiddie area... it'll do a number on your back! Yes, it is sometimes crowded, but you can always take a little break down on the beach, which is almost always empty, and enjoy the nice view of downtown while waving to the passing boats. Finally, an amusement park that is fun without being completely overwhelming. You will see far fewer crying children and advil gulping parents here than at your average park. The only drawback is the entry fee imposed at Oktoberfest. I wish they simply charged extra to enter the "fest" area, so people like me, who have no interest in it and just want to enjoy regular park features, didn't have to pay for that dubious event.

• Pros: actually a pleasant experience
• Cons: oktoberfest fee