Beulahland

10/15/09

Food is really good....sometimes.

by yo73ern at Citysearch

I go here a lot partly because its close to my house. There's cheap drinks, a comfortable atmosphere and its close to the Laurelhurst Theater which makes it a good place for the dinner/drink/movie combo. They also show soccer games on a projector that can draw a pretty big crowd.

The food there is a little inconsistent. I've had the best burger I've ever had in this town and on a different day the same burger was smaller, more burnt, and definitely disappointing. Yes, they serve Ruffles(TM) out of the bag, They also have a huge painting of Porky Pig. How can you live in this town and not put up with (if not cherish) a little quirkiness? They have awesome desserts!!! Overall the place is unassuming and comfy. I've never found this place to be unclean -- not the bathrooms or the food or the place itself.

They got rid of Stumptown coffee??! What's up with that?

• Pros: Homey, cozy, comfort food, dessert!
• Cons: Food inconsistent, no more Stumptown coffee

10/04/09

BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT!!

by jakesneak2324 at Citysearch

I just moved in to the area and this is now one of my local pubs so I gave it a couple tries. I talked to the same girl bartender each time, and on the last time I'll ever go in there, this is what happened...

I walk in on a Saturday night, late, and I'm greeted by servers holding plates heaped with--shitty I'm sure--food and shouting out orders to all corners of the bar without any idea who ordered it. Then when I get to the bar to order a drink, I ask for a cocktail, only to be handed a drink with what appears to have a bug in it. It's too dark to see if it actually is a bug, so I pull it out with my straw and proceed to the bathroom to get better light. Upon discovering, yes, it was in fact a bug, I wanted to ask for a new drink but the the music (not live) was too loud to shout over about my drink and they were busy, so I shut up and drank, for their sake. When I wanted to close out, I waited and waited, and waited, for the same girl bartender to close out my tab so I could tip her and get the hell out of there. But no, she didn't want to take two seconds of her time to print out a slip for me to sign and TIP HER! Instead she pointed over to some other greasy bartender as if he was the only one who could do it. So I waited, and waited, patiently while he stood with his back to me and counted money for several minutes, hardly turning around to see if anyone needed help. Then when he finally did turn around, he went and started talking to someone else and served them.

Do yourselves a favor, never go in this place, in fact, boycott with me! Horrible service and dirty, beulahland is more like poolahland.

• Pros: You realized you've left the world of humanity.
• Cons: You left the world of humanity.

10/01/09

Normal Folks Made Unwelcome

by bansub at Citysearch

If you're over 30, you're wasting your dignity, time, and money. You will be treated like you don't exist. As with any urban Portland so-called alternative crowd. Hoards of not so liberal liberals. Brutally constricting social atmosphere. The dreaded male is on politically correct notice at any given moment. You are not free, you must conform to their rigid hateful ideology of self-castrating feminization. It doesn't matter how polite you are if you're anywhere close to traditional. The un-tattooed, clean-shaven straight, white men, or otherwise upwardly mobile even slightly masculine (men lol!) are shunned and treated with abject rudeness. You'd better have a lisp. If you ask a girl out for a date in Beulahland, she will look at you like you are the devil and walk backwards out, or the queer owner will most likely tell you to leave. Yeah, sure he's married, he's still a queeb, just look at him! These diseased Godless scowling slim fancy themselves some kind of elite Bohemian society, when in reality they have absolutely NO talent or education in the arts, or education of any type. I like to call that shithole: "Poserland" Because that's all you will find there, bitter, angry, jealous, resentful, heterophobic, racist, sexist no-talent posers with a chip on their shoulders. They have NO life, you will find them there every night of the week. How pathetic.

If the beer was free, I still wouldn't drink anything from their Staff-infected glasses or tap.

• Pros: No Pros; cons: Firetrap ~ Firemarshall should see no E exit
• Cons: Cockroached food. Denied 1st Amendment rights. Heterophobia