Fat Albert's Breakfast Cafe

07/14/09

Delicious biscuits!

by kritni

Awesome menu, great fresh food, giant delicious biscuits and homemade jam, pretty good coffee, great fruit plate. The staff really hustles to take care of the customers. I can't figure out why other reviews say they're rude - they're just super busy! I'm perfectly happy with the server who doesn't waste time small talking and gets down to business when there are people waiting.

I'm a huge fan of the veggie omelet called the "Salad Eater" that blends fresh spinach, tomatoes, onion, mushrooms and swiss cheese that comes with a side of 'home browns' and toast or biscuit.

My boyfriend usually orders the "Kim’s Fave" which features an unctuous blend of avocado and cheddar with crispy bacon. Great with salsa.

It's still my favorite breakfast spot, with a few others in a close second place.

• Pros: Large portions of great food for a good price
• Cons: The wait for a table

06/26/09

Quit yer bitchin'

by Btick

Firstly, I am not from Portland. I am from New Jersey. My brother and sister in law live in Sellwood, I usually see them once or twice a year. Even though they live closer to Bertie Lou's, I always walk further down to have my breakfast at Fat Albert's. Why ? Two reasons: great food and great atmosphere. Now I understand that I hail from a part of the country (NYC Tri-state) that many folks equate with rudeness. Maybe so, but on my numerous visits to Fat Albert's the surliness of the help was not anything out of the ordinary. I was more impressed by the hustle shown by the entire staff. It is a small place that gets really hectic but the folks there keep busting it out. Methinks that the folks who complain the loudest have never worked behind a grill or waited tables. So the next time you go to Fat Albert's, sit back and enjoy the show. It's free and entertaining as hell.

• Pros: Great morning fuel.
• Cons: Oversensitive, crybaby customers.

03/01/09

The service is absolutely terrible

by Elradreindeer

Fat Alberts is a joke. The service is possibly the worst I have ever seen in my life. All of the old women that work there need to be highly medicated and just relax. Especially the middle aged blond one that served us. The lady was unreal. Just a snot of a human being and on top of that the food was garbage. I'm a bartender so I have a very high tolerance in terms of service industry people but jesus christ, this was terrible. The city should close this place down, mainly for harvesting the 3 witches that work there. Never going back again and I'll make it a point to tell everyone I know that this place is garbage just like the wait staff. 8^) Have a nice day you mean old sea hags!

• Pros: Me leaving thru the front door
• Cons: Wait staff... they're terrible

01/23/09

The Best Portland has to offer

by Big1der

We had the most amazing breakfasts here. the eggs were light and fluffy pancakes the same. the home fries were a very pleasant change of pace. The coffee was as good as any I've ever had nice and fresh. We had walked by this restaraunt late night while visiting other places around, and happened to be in the area around breakfast so wanted to give it a try. My wife was a little leary as we had been to Fat City and she thought the were the same ownership. Not even close!! Do not pass this place up if you are there and it is open, the waitress was very congenial and topped the meal off all around.

• Pros: Food, Staff
• Cons: none

11/11/08

Fat albert makes me want to take a fat dump on their sidewalk

by eli123

I walked into the restaurant and this obese old ugly woman was like "give me your order". I was like, i wnat coffe. She got all biotchy and she was like "thats it!!?!?!?!" I jus tdrank my coffe and left a 5 on the table. I'm never going back except to smear my feces all over their windows and urinate into their deep fat fryer, whice all of their food goes through at one point.

If you go there, remember to lick my dump off of their windo.

07/16/08

Super busy-great food

by shondon

I would say this is the best breakfast place in Sellwood. I love the location and the food is fabulous. I always have a good experience when I come here. They have good customer service and the environment is very cozy. Just be prepared for a little wait when you get there. If you don't mind waiting for a few minutes, It's all worth it in the end.

06/29/08

Horrible customer service

by sunshinedoc

My husband and I tried to eat here one Saturday. The place was very busy and crowded. The hostess was extremely rude and had a very bad attitude. We left without eating and vowed to never return.

• Pros: reputation of great food
• Cons: service

04/23/08

Best Southern Style Biscuits & Gravy in Town

by pdxboyett

Being from the south (Arkansas) my husband and I searched Portland high and low for the best biscuits & gravy to replicate what we were missing from the south. Our favorite type of gravy is the white cream kind, no big sausage chunks. We found Fat Albert's to be the best, most authentic southern style biscuits and gravy. No pretentious paprika sprinklings or essence of sage -- just your basic yummy, fluffy biscuits and filling creamy gravy in hefty portions. And for cheap! FA's is kiddie friendly and family run. You need to be seeking a greasy spoon type atmosphere, not a gentrified yuppie scene. Therefore you do sometimes get a little bit of rudeness from the grandma waitresses, but heck -- it's a greasy spoon! The menu is nice and basic, with all the egg dishes and basic sweet stuff on one page. Yes it's sort of cramped in there and the wait is usually 15-20 minutes, but to me it's worth it. This is the authentic southern style greasy spoon i've been missing in Portland. I like a yuppie spot every now and then, but Fat Albert's is a standby, the one regular spot we keep coming back to. I guess 'cause it feels like home.

• Pros: cheap eats
• Cons: crowded wait

03/19/08

Never again

by Hofner

Fat Albert's used to be a great place to get the best of a good, basic breakfast - a neighborhood greasy spoon that almost filled the void created by the upscaling of Bertie Lou's (how could they?!?). Sporting four or five counter seats, six tables, a busy waitress, and a cook whose arms were fewer than seemed possible, FA's was just a comfortable place to go to get full of good food for a few bucks, and maybe pick up on some neighborhood news along the way.

That was then, this is now - there has been a major paradigm shift at Fat Albert's. The staff there seems to imagine they are a trendy Lake Oswego establishment, completely oblivious to the most basic concepts of customer service. A single diner has no chance for a table if counter space is open, no matter how many tables are vacant. Portion control has no meaning here - one day, it might be five healthy strips of lean bacon, the next it'll be three pathetic strings of fat. The older waitress(es) are uniformly rude and completely unaware that they are there to serve the customer, not the other way around. Prices are about the same as any establishment serving similar fare, which makes Fat Albert's very expensive, indeed.

Unless you're going to try and relive a fond memory, give Fat Albert's a wide berth. It ain't what it used to be, and its owner needs a serious wake-up call. Treat yourself instead to The Bomber or the original Pig & Pancake - these folks know breakfast and how to serve it.

• Pros: They used to have excellent food and a grasp on customer service
• Cons: Rude waitresses, inconsistent food quality/quantity, poor parking, poor seating

01/24/08

Not all that it's raved to be.

by cynsil

I took my friend there for her birthday hearing that it was a good place to go and that they have the best home cooked style potatoes. We were fortunate enough not to have to wait for a table as it was pretty cold outside and there is no waiting room in the front unless you feel like getting real cozy with strangers and becoming part of their meal. Hearing they have quick service and can crank out the breakfast and clear seating sooner, we were surprised when we had to inquire if we could place our order after 15 minutes of watching the waitress walk by several times with no acknowledgement. It took 40 minutes for us to even get our food not to mention that we had also placed a to-go order and ended up cancelling it after our regular meal took so long (because they had packed the entire meal up "To-Go" rather than just the one order). More frustration set in while we watched everyone that was seated after we were, eating well before us. The apology from the waitress was given only so she did not have to hear our comments of disappointment rather than her actually giving any care or mind to the matter. We did get our ticket discounted a meal but the obvious lack of customer service (unless you were a regular) was all to discouraging for us to ever want to go back. I would have paid double what I had for better customer service so I hope they can work on their style more to accomodate for their guests. Their food options of being able to have an egg white omelette is a plus but you can probably go to IHOP or Denny's and get the same taste, better service and more seating options. Overall disappointment.

• Pros: Good bread
• Cons: Service & lack of seating