Beulahland

10/15/09

Food is really good....sometimes.

by yo73ern

I go here a lot partly because its close to my house. There's cheap drinks, a comfortable atmosphere and its close to the Laurelhurst Theater which makes it a good place for the dinner/drink/movie combo. They also show soccer games on a projector that can draw a pretty big crowd.

The food there is a little inconsistent. I've had the best burger I've ever had in this town and on a different day the same burger was smaller, more burnt, and definitely disappointing. Yes, they serve Ruffles(TM) out of the bag, They also have a huge painting of Porky Pig. How can you live in this town and not put up with (if not cherish) a little quirkiness? They have awesome desserts!!! Overall the place is unassuming and comfy. I've never found this place to be unclean -- not the bathrooms or the food or the place itself.

They got rid of Stumptown coffee??! What's up with that?

• Pros: Homey, cozy, comfort food, dessert!
• Cons: Food inconsistent, no more Stumptown coffee

10/04/09

BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT!!

by jakesneak2324

I just moved in to the area and this is now one of my local pubs so I gave it a couple tries. I talked to the same girl bartender each time, and on the last time I'll ever go in there, this is what happened...

I walk in on a Saturday night, late, and I'm greeted by servers holding plates heaped with--shitty I'm sure--food and shouting out orders to all corners of the bar without any idea who ordered it. Then when I get to the bar to order a drink, I ask for a cocktail, only to be handed a drink with what appears to have a bug in it. It's too dark to see if it actually is a bug, so I pull it out with my straw and proceed to the bathroom to get better light. Upon discovering, yes, it was in fact a bug, I wanted to ask for a new drink but the the music (not live) was too loud to shout over about my drink and they were busy, so I shut up and drank, for their sake. When I wanted to close out, I waited and waited, and waited, for the same girl bartender to close out my tab so I could tip her and get the hell out of there. But no, she didn't want to take two seconds of her time to print out a slip for me to sign and TIP HER! Instead she pointed over to some other greasy bartender as if he was the only one who could do it. So I waited, and waited, patiently while he stood with his back to me and counted money for several minutes, hardly turning around to see if anyone needed help. Then when he finally did turn around, he went and started talking to someone else and served them.

Do yourselves a favor, never go in this place, in fact, boycott with me! Horrible service and dirty, beulahland is more like poolahland.

• Pros: You realized you've left the world of humanity.
• Cons: You left the world of humanity.

10/01/09

Normal Folks Made Unwelcome

by bansub

If you're over 30, you're wasting your dignity, time, and money. You will be treated like you don't exist. As with any urban Portland so-called alternative crowd. Hoards of not so liberal liberals. Brutally constricting social atmosphere. The dreaded male is on politically correct notice at any given moment. You are not free, you must conform to their rigid hateful ideology of self-castrating feminization. It doesn't matter how polite you are if you're anywhere close to traditional. The un-tattooed, clean-shaven straight, white men, or otherwise upwardly mobile even slightly masculine (men lol!) are shunned and treated with abject rudeness. You'd better have a lisp. If you ask a girl out for a date in Beulahland, she will look at you like you are the devil and walk backwards out, or the queer owner will most likely tell you to leave. Yeah, sure he's married, he's still a queeb, just look at him! These diseased Godless scowling slim fancy themselves some kind of elite Bohemian society, when in reality they have absolutely NO talent or education in the arts, or education of any type. I like to call that shithole: "Poserland" Because that's all you will find there, bitter, angry, jealous, resentful, heterophobic, racist, sexist no-talent posers with a chip on their shoulders. They have NO life, you will find them there every night of the week. How pathetic.

If the beer was free, I still wouldn't drink anything from their Staff-infected glasses or tap.

• Pros: No Pros; cons: Firetrap ~ Firemarshall should see no E exit
• Cons: Cockroached food. Denied 1st Amendment rights. Heterophobia

09/22/09

Unbelievably Horrible

by southernboy

Absolutely the worst food I have ever had at a restaurant in Portland, or anywhere else. Ordered a Reuben sandwich which contained meat as tough as jerky...and the "homemade" potato chips were right out of a Ruffles bag. The macaroni and cheese we had heard so much about was barely better than the stuff in a blue box. But the real problem was the condition of the establishment. When we told our server about the ants covering the table and wall next to our booth, he simply said, "I keep tell the exterminator it's bad but they don't believe me!" And don't even ask about what was in the mens room....YUCK!! Portland has plenty of great pubs....go find one and avoid this place like the plague!!

• Pros: None
• Cons: Food, cleanliness, service, clientele, smell, lighting,

12/11/08

cheap prices

by twasiwhoshotjr

the prices on the alcohol are cheap. There are a lot of food choices including a lot of different pies. the layout is nice and even when its crowded it doesnt feel cramped. the motif was nice and they have different artists' pieces on the walls which they rotate.

over all its a cute place.

• Pros: cheap prices
• Cons: N/A

03/22/08

Is that my black hoodie?

by shrimpycocktail

Get over yourselves. Really, please do. Some bartenders will pour you a drink that you could sterilize surgical instruments inside of, others will give you some slightly boozy water. The veggie patty tastes like it was made out of the vegetable peels at the bottom of the sink and pureed, half completed Oregonian crosswords. Don't bother trying to get a seat unless you plan on wearing your badly fitting black jeans. Above all, Beulahland is the place that makes me want to run screaming out of Portland to a place where people who drink every afternoon are actual alcoholics, not the dirty self-deprecating lemmings sticking their sorry heads into the whiskey trough over there.

But weirdly enough, they have the best hot wings in town. They are perfect in every delicious hot wing way. Take them to go. Get a double order.

11/04/07

Great food & beer

by sandersrk

I was in last weekend and really impressed with the beer selection. I shared a portabeulah sandwich with my husband and it was fantastic. The potato salad was also great. The atmosphere is a little loud, which I enjoy, but if you are looking for romantic or intimate, this probably isn't the place you want to go . There was some fun pinball and retro games. Bartender was very friendly, food came promptly. I will definitely be back. This is a great place to cruise to after seeing a movie at Laurelhurst.

• Pros: Great beer, Great food!, fun games
• Cons: Smoking, Can be loud

09/21/06

Don't believe the hype, this place is a hell hole.

by april_j

There are always people sitting out front so it looks like a cool place to hang out, but it could not have been more dissapointing. I could dig the funky vibe inside and happily ordered a couple drinks and sat at the Ms. Pac-Man table with my date. Moments later we were sipping watery drinks and highly annoyed with the out of tune radio station barely playing an oldies station. A visit to the restroom left me in fear of diseases. After we finished a good game of Ms. Pac-Man we high-tailed it out of there and promised never to return.

Funky coffeehouse by day, hipster hangout by night.

by Contributor

In Short
Like the living room of a house that always has good parties, it's full of young, thrift store-clad regulars--often overflowing onto the small, leafy brick patio in the back. Serving Stumptown Roasters coffee and espresso, light breakfasts and lunches, plus beer and wine. A good selection of microbrews, plus mead and wine, supplement the ever-popular Pabst Blue Ribbon. Live bands Saturdays and regularly scheduled DJs rarely charge a cover.

08/27/03

iNDEED A LOVELY ESTABLISHMENT

by hip421

Beulah is to grapes as fruit is to trees. Hipper than a monkey danglin in a suit looking at the bannana seat of his shiny new 42 spoked shwiz-nin. The place provides an excellent meeting ground for a varied and eclectic crowd. Offering beakfast, lunch, and supper in a true coffeehouse/alehouse fashion this place rocks the sock out of the union pacific trailer trucker at peir/pier/pear 3.14... Beulah is the beackon of light on the 28th row of sin. True that. And if that makes it hipper than thou maybe we ought to start defining hip as real cuz that's what you get when you enter the holy land

• Pros: holy in spirit, sermons, drinking/ art shows
• Cons: no way, as if, you wish